so now what?

Wow, life is rapidly coming to a sharp 90 degree turn and I’m having to adjust my speed so that I can make the turn safely. That was a nice metaphor. 🙂

Well, I’m getting ready to move…somewhere. I have no idea where, but I’m sick of Idaho. I will have a title at the end of December, finally. Thats about the only thing I’ll have. I won’t have much money, or good credit, but I’ll have my degree. If it were humanly possible, I would love to just travel around to the major cities every few months or so and find a place I like. If only I had a savings account with a pre-established amount of money–this could work. I could go to California, Michigan, New York. I could have romantic anonymous flings and leave people in the dust. I could have much more exciting adventures to write about than “So, today I woke up and did some php coding and ate macncheese and now I’m going to go to bed.”

If only. Life’s full of dreams. Missed Opportunities. So, I’m sick of missing them. January, I’m just going to go. Its an opportunity that’s hidden underneath stress and financial issues. I can get passed all of that. If only.

Tests are coming up rapidly, this website is being critiqued today. I’m just a little on the nervous side, small thoughts traveling through my head, “What if I don’t make it? What if I can’t pass the classes? What if.”

Today I have a test that I’m utterly unsure of in just about a half an hour. I need a good grade on this test because I got a C on my midterms and haven’t done so well in turning in my homework. I’m just not sure I completely understand the stuff. I did, a few weeks ago–back when I asked the teacher to give us a test. Thats when I was marked as the nerdy idiot who asked for a test. Now they all understand why I wanted one earlier on…because they’ve all forgotten half of the material. I have no expectations for myself to remember anything beyond the next day. A test back two weeks ago would have been much more beneficial to me. Now I have to sludge through 6 weeks of material just to pass the test. All because people complained that I was a nerd.

I may be a nerd or something like it, but I know my strength. Memorizing six weeks worth of math is not on that list.

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