Today was one of those days where I got failure data at nearly every corner. I'm exaggerating a bit but then that's what I do! I exaggerate. I say "a million" in place of… 12. I say "I'm SOOO tired," in place of "I'm tired." As if the exaggeration somehow makes it better. Regardless of my exaggeration habits, it was still one of "those" days.
Getting feedback or failing isn't usually a big problem for me. I've always tried to take a really positive position on "failing" and what that meant for me, but sometimes I fail at that. Yes, I think I meant to be ironic. Not just ironic, but TOTALLY ironic (exaggeration habit, just in case you needed a flashing arrow). I think that I seem to have a problem with it when the failure feedback feels more like a punishment than anything else. I don't know why that aspect really bothers me but I've seen it crop up a few times in the last several weeks so its worth looking at.
My day started out with a meeting that failed to happen. This wasn't a big deal at all as its just the nature of the biz. Going forward, however, I decided to make boiled eggs for breakfast (as is my usual course) and one of my eggs began to chirp after it was boiled. Now… a chirping egg is kind of creepy, but a chirping BOILED egg was like a ghost was sitting right next to me petting my hair and singing eerie songs to me. I was sitting in a stricken panic as I tried to find logic in what was happening. I think I sat there, thinking or trying to think, for 15 minutes before I even thought to google the chirping boiled egg and get information on it. My mind was filled with horrid thoughts of a melted baby chic letting out its last few chirps. By the time I started my research, I was convinced that the baby chic, who's name would have been Reba, must have had its little beak melted off during the boiling process and was just sitting in the egg trapped, crying to be let loose. It couldn't crack its way out because the beak was melted. it couldn't move because its body was melted. It could only chirp.
Google says that boiled egg will chirp when air is forced through its porous membranes.
Well, okay. I'm still not going to eat eggs any time soon.
The whole day was kind of like that. Events happened, I reacted and stayed in that "mood" for a while.
Later I was hanging out with some amazing friends of mine, talking about my reactions to the chirping and everything else. I was re-living the emotions of the day while talking to them and suddenly found myself embarrassed and unable to really focus. What happened next, however, was so cool that I don't know if I'll ever forget the experience. My friend, who is an actress, took me through a series of emotion changes that completely got me out of my embarrassment state. The process was SO amazing. I went from embarrassed, to DEEPLY embarrassed, to calmer, to excited to intense and then to peacefulness. It was the first real experience I have ever had with any sort of "being the thing I'm thinking about" which some may call acting.
Anyway, my walk tonight was much shorter than usual so I'm going to try to opt for a slightly longer one tomorrow. I only went for 20 minutes tonight. I'm beginning to feel a bit unsafe in my neighborhood, so the later I procrastinate the walk, the shorter it gets.
In other news, my birthday party is coming up soon! I'm in the process of changing venues for it to a Vancouver based venue to make it easier for the guests to show up. It should be fun and probably my biggest party yet, if all goes according to my plans at any rate. I'll be 29 on Monday! One more year till 30! The party an 80s themed potluck style event. I have to get an outfit still. Mari and Britt are going to load an 80s playlist on one of their iPods to play throughout the evening. Hopefully the weather will be excited for my party as well!
I have an early day tomorrow, meetings meetings meetings. Time to retire for the night.