Do not cast a shadow on someone else’s sunlight. Rather, help it shine brighter.
On my journey through this world, I sometimes like to imagine, in parables or metaphors, what this life is like.
There’s this game I played at a fair, once. It involves a twisted up thick wire that conducts electricity and a wand around it that the player must move through the twists and turns without touching the wire. If you do, it closes a circuit and causes an audible buzz to occur. It takes a very steady hand. The first few times I played it, I often found myself holding my breath with a tinge of fear that I might make the wire go “BZZZZ.” I discovered that the more nervous and calculated I was, the harder it was to keep my hand steady and the higher it made my chances of hitting the wire.
To apply this story to my life, I’ve had moments and situations where I felt my relationships with others were so close to ringing that BZZZ sound that I treaded cautiously and carefully, hoping that my unsteady hand wouldn’t betray me. But in the end, it is my caution that triggers my unsteady hand, and I ended up creating the demise of my situation one way or another.
I’m learning from this! I’m learning to evaluate without fear of rejection or isolation. Otherwise, being too cautious or lacking solid judgement of character has had too many consequences for me that I’d rather not endure again. Instead, I’m looking for the solid middle ground… being secure in myself enough to be able to say that I won’t require anyone to be any different around me but I will choose to remove myself if the situation calls for it, or the friendship itself.
What I’m working on is evaluating every situation and every relationship based on how we reciprocate and how our energies mesh together. I am working on trusting my internal instincts and seeing all the facts I can see and making evaluations based on those, rather than tricking myself into believing that the facts are inconsequential and I am immune to another person’s slug slime.
I am also working on loving deeply, no matter the relationship I have. I’m working on being in the present moment, having a deep awe and love for the human beings I am with, honoring their experiences and their journey through life as much as I honor my own.
In the past, I might have judged someone for their behaviors or possibly even attempted to force them to stop their behaviors because it triggered too much for me and I wasn’t able to experience myself in their presence. Now, I find myself taking a step back from those types of situations and observing the players (myself and the other person) and witnessing that person on their journey and extending feelings of love from myself outward. I have a commitment to myself to never cast a shadow over someone else’s sunlight. I’d rather extend it whenever possible.